Hurry up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait!, This seems to be theme of life at the moment. There are so many things that need to get done and need to get done within a timely manner, however no matter what I do or try recently get me stuck in a holding pattern. Not only that, but everyone who claims to be committing to something, tends to back out at the last minute causing more of a delay. Whether its websites, non-profit boards, moving, visa permissions, and even relationships they all carry the same theme right now.... wait, wait, wait... It feels crazy but I've been waiting for over 3 years for most of these things to come through, and just when Im on the brink of making them come to fruition, they either fall apart, get put on hold, or just stand stagnate. So what am I to do? Some days I wake up and wonder, just even how to spend my time because Im in such a holding pattern there really is nothing else to do.... This is not pleasant, nor fun to walk in if we're being honest. The difficult wrestle is that I know these are good things, and good things that i feel the Lord has called me to as well as promised. So why dosen't He make them happen... I know, I know His time not mine, right? Yes we've heard it before and can even see this happening all throughout scripture!. Abraham waited 25 years for the promised Isaac, Isreal wondered for 40 years while waiting for the promised land, and there was even a 500 year waiting period between when the Lord last spoke till Christ was born...we as the church still live in the already but not yet form of waiting to be fully restored to Christ while here on earth... So the question remains, how do we remain strong, obedient, and faithful in the times of waiting. The answer is simple but difficult to walk out daily. Remember that God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. Tim Chester came up with this concept and 3 others. He simply said that "underlying all our sinful behaviour and negative emotions is a failure to believe one of these truths at a functional level. Embracing, believing, trusting, delighting in the appropriate liberating truth therefore has the power to set us free from sin – though we need to recognize that this typically involves a daily struggle – the fight of faith" The four G's have helped me as well as a lot of others I know. Honestly some days i don't believe any of them, those day are not my best, and Im usually robbed of my joy. Other days I struggle with them, and other days I walk in them fully... This is the battle, a battle to be fought even when told to Hurry up and wait! Here are some examples in scripture that show God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. a. Promises to Abraham b. Story of Joseph (Gen 37-47) c. Israel defeats Amaleknm- Moses raises staff (Ex 17) d. Psalm 55 e. Matthew 10 (esp16-20) f. Paul’s life (Acts 14-28)

Hurry up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait!, This seems to be theme of life at the moment. There are so many things that need to get done and need to get done within a timely manner, however no matter what I do or try recently get me stuck in a holding pattern. Not only that, but everyone who claims to be committing to something, tends to back out at the last minute causing more of a delay. Whether its websites, non-profit boards, moving, visa permissions, and even relationships they all carry the same theme right now.... wait, wait, wait... It feels crazy but I've been waiting for over 3 years for most of these things to come through, and just when Im on the brink of making them come to fruition, they either fall apart, get put on hold, or just stand stagnate. So what am I to do? Some days I wake up and wonder, just even how to spend my time because Im in such a holding pattern there really is nothing else to do.... This is not pleasant, nor fun to walk in if we're being honest. The difficult wrestle is that I know these are good things, and good things that i feel the Lord has called me to as well as promised. So why dosen't He make them happen... I know, I know His time not mine, right? Yes we've heard it before and can even see this happening all throughout scripture!. Abraham waited 25 years for the promised Isaac, Isreal wondered for 40 years while waiting for the promised land, and there was even a 500 year waiting period between when the Lord last spoke till Christ was born...we as the church still live in the already but not yet form of waiting to be fully restored to Christ while here on earth... So the question remains, how do we remain strong, obedient, and faithful in the times of waiting. The answer is simple but difficult to walk out daily. Remember that God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. Tim Chester came up with this concept and 3 others. He simply said that "underlying all our sinful behaviour and negative emotions is a failure to believe one of these truths at a functional level. Embracing, believing, trusting, delighting in the appropriate liberating truth therefore has the power to set us free from sin – though we need to recognize that this typically involves a daily struggle – the fight of faith" The four G's have helped me as well as a lot of others I know. Honestly some days i don't believe any of them, those day are not my best, and Im usually robbed of my joy. Other days I struggle with them, and other days I walk in them fully... This is the battle, a battle to be fought even when told to Hurry up and wait! Here are some examples in scripture that show God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. a. Promises to Abraham b. Story of Joseph (Gen 37-47) c. Israel defeats Amaleknm- Moses raises staff (Ex 17) d. Psalm 55 e. Matthew 10 (esp16-20) f. Paul’s life (Acts 14-28)

Hurry up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait!, This seems to be theme of life at the moment. There are so many things that need to get done and need to get done within a timely manner, however no matter what I do or try recently get me stuck in a holding pattern. Not only that, but everyone who claims to be committing to something, tends to back out at the last minute causing more of a delay. Whether its websites, non-profit boards, moving, visa permissions, and even relationships they all carry the same theme right now.... wait, wait, wait... It feels crazy but I've been waiting for over 3 years for most of these things to come through, and just when Im on the brink of making them come to fruition, they either fall apart, get put on hold, or just stand stagnate. So what am I to do? Some days I wake up and wonder, just even how to spend my time because Im in such a holding pattern there really is nothing else to do.... This is not pleasant, nor fun to walk in if we're being honest. The difficult wrestle is that I know these are good things, and good things that i feel the Lord has called me to as well as promised. So why dosen't He make them happen... I know, I know His time not mine, right? Yes we've heard it before and can even see this happening all throughout scripture!. Abraham waited 25 years for the promised Isaac, Isreal wondered for 40 years while waiting for the promised land, and there was even a 500 year waiting period between when the Lord last spoke till Christ was born...we as the church still live in the already but not yet form of waiting to be fully restored to Christ while here on earth... So the question remains, how do we remain strong, obedient, and faithful in the times of waiting. The answer is simple but difficult to walk out daily. Remember that God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. Tim Chester came up with this concept and 3 others. He simply said that "underlying all our sinful behaviour and negative emotions is a failure to believe one of these truths at a functional level. Embracing, believing, trusting, delighting in the appropriate liberating truth therefore has the power to set us free from sin – though we need to recognize that this typically involves a daily struggle – the fight of faith" The four G's have helped me as well as a lot of others I know. Honestly some days i don't believe any of them, those day are not my best, and Im usually robbed of my joy. Other days I struggle with them, and other days I walk in them fully... This is the battle, a battle to be fought even when told to Hurry up and wait! Here are some examples in scripture that show God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. a. Promises to Abraham b. Story of Joseph (Gen 37-47) c. Israel defeats Amaleknm- Moses raises staff (Ex 17) d. Psalm 55 e. Matthew 10 (esp16-20) f. Paul’s life (Acts 14-28)

Hurry up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait!, This seems to be theme of life at the moment. There are so many things that need to get done and need to get done within a timely manner, however no matter what I do or try recently get me stuck in a holding pattern. Not only that, but everyone who claims to be committing to something, tends to back out at the last minute causing more of a delay. Whether its websites, non-profit boards, moving, visa permissions, and even relationships they all carry the same theme right now.... wait, wait, wait... It feels crazy but I've been waiting for over 3 years for most of these things to come through, and just when Im on the brink of making them come to fruition, they either fall apart, get put on hold, or just stand stagnate. So what am I to do? Some days I wake up and wonder, just even how to spend my time because Im in such a holding pattern there really is nothing else to do.... This is not pleasant, nor fun to walk in if we're being honest. The difficult wrestle is that I know these are good things, and good things that i feel the Lord has called me to as well as promised. So why dosen't He make them happen... I know, I know His time not mine, right? Yes we've heard it before and can even see this happening all throughout scripture!. Abraham waited 25 years for the promised Isaac, Isreal wondered for 40 years while waiting for the promised land, and there was even a 500 year waiting period between when the Lord last spoke till Christ was born...we as the church still live in the already but not yet form of waiting to be fully restored to Christ while here on earth... So the question remains, how do we remain strong, obedient, and faithful in the times of waiting. The answer is simple but difficult to walk out daily. Remember that God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. Tim Chester came up with this concept and 3 others. He simply said that "underlying all our sinful behaviour and negative emotions is a failure to believe one of these truths at a functional level. Embracing, believing, trusting, delighting in the appropriate liberating truth therefore has the power to set us free from sin – though we need to recognize that this typically involves a daily struggle – the fight of faith" The four G's have helped me as well as a lot of others I know. Honestly some days i don't believe any of them, those day are not my best, and Im usually robbed of my joy. Other days I struggle with them, and other days I walk in them fully... This is the battle, a battle to be fought even when told to Hurry up and wait! Here are some examples in scripture that show God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. a. Promises to Abraham b. Story of Joseph (Gen 37-47) c. Israel defeats Amaleknm- Moses raises staff (Ex 17) d. Psalm 55 e. Matthew 10 (esp16-20) f. Paul’s life (Acts 14-28)

Hurry up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait!, This seems to be theme of life at the moment. There are so many things that need to get done and need to get done within a timely manner, however no matter what I do or try recently get me stuck in a holding pattern. Not only that, but everyone who claims to be committing to something, tends to back out at the last minute causing more of a delay. Whether its websites, non-profit boards, moving, visa permissions, and even relationships they all carry the same theme right now.... wait, wait, wait... It feels crazy but I've been waiting for over 3 years for most of these things to come through, and just when Im on the brink of making them come to fruition, they either fall apart, get put on hold, or just stand stagnate. So what am I to do? Some days I wake up and wonder, just even how to spend my time because Im in such a holding pattern there really is nothing else to do.... This is not pleasant, nor fun to walk in if we're being honest. The difficult wrestle is that I know these are good things, and good things that i feel the Lord has called me to as well as promised. So why dosen't He make them happen... I know, I know His time not mine, right? Yes we've heard it before and can even see this happening all throughout scripture!. Abraham waited 25 years for the promised Isaac, Isreal wondered for 40 years while waiting for the promised land, and there was even a 500 year waiting period between when the Lord last spoke till Christ was born...we as the church still live in the already but not yet form of waiting to be fully restored to Christ while here on earth... So the question remains, how do we remain strong, obedient, and faithful in the times of waiting. The answer is simple but difficult to walk out daily. Remember that God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. Tim Chester came up with this concept and 3 others. He simply said that "underlying all our sinful behaviour and negative emotions is a failure to believe one of these truths at a functional level. Embracing, believing, trusting, delighting in the appropriate liberating truth therefore has the power to set us free from sin – though we need to recognize that this typically involves a daily struggle – the fight of faith" The four G's have helped me as well as a lot of others I know. Honestly some days i don't believe any of them, those day are not my best, and Im usually robbed of my joy. Other days I struggle with them, and other days I walk in them fully... This is the battle, a battle to be fought even when told to Hurry up and wait! Here are some examples in scripture that show God is great-therefore we do not have to be in control. a. Promises to Abraham b. Story of Joseph (Gen 37-47) c. Israel defeats Amaleknm- Moses raises staff (Ex 17) d. Psalm 55 e. Matthew 10 (esp16-20) f. Paul’s life (Acts 14-28)

Out of the Storm and into a new Season

I feel as if the storm may have passed from the last time we spoke and now Im in a new season of joy. Being stuck in thailand was difficult, but I feel the Lord used the time to prepare us well for Myanmar. It actually feels good to be here where the Lord has called us. My affections are stirred all the more because I get to do the things that stir my affections like teach and share the gospel, as well as disciple men. I wasn't able to do this all that much in thailand, and being there I felt a spiritual oppression like I have never felt before. maybe it was the phase of culture shock, or maybe it was spiritual attack, or both. Either way I feel I am out of this fog and into a new light for which the Lord has prepared for us here. As of now our team is all here together (3) safe in a neighboring country. We even have a new place to stay for when we move up north, the business registration is happening faster than expected. I just got back from a trip up north and in 3 days the Lord not only blessed us with a place to live and start the school, but also we got permission to live there. I met with the Secretary for the Ministry of Social Welfare and Education and Business for __________. He is also the State committee chairman president. Basically all that means is big boy in charge of it all up there. It was a little crazy and a bit scary when this guy and another rolled up with truck loads of armed guards and military police. We didn't even have an appointment, so at first i thought we may have done something wrong. But after waiting a few hours he allowed us to see him, we told him what we were doing, and he not only welcomed us, but also gave us advice on how to continue the process as well as his personal guarantee that we would have no problems in living there. This was huge because no foreigners live there, and I prayed that God would soften this mans heart to allow us permission and his favor before we went in to see him. I can't tell you how important this kind of permission is. I pray it goes further and that He one day knows Christ and is an advocate for the gospel amongst his own people and government. With this happening as well as so much more in 3 days, I returned home the other morning really full of a lot of gratefulness and sure that this is what the Lord has for us. Not sure if you remember from a few newsletters back, but we traveled around the whole country back in June trying to just listen to the Holy Spirit as to where to start our work, similar to the macedonian call, we felt the Lord say go this way and not that. Once we were in this town our whole group felt at peace from the Lord as to where we would begin. This weekend has confirmed that call. So please continue to pray for us. Although we have been blessed much with favor, we still need to finish the registration process without getting ripped off or rejected so pray for our business registration. Also pray for the strength of our team as we will have to move here again at the end of March. Also pray for me to know what to do about starting a non-profit or not. We need to do something soon this year in order to set up a flow through for funds and such that will need to be raised bc my personal money will run out by the end of the year. So pray for direction in this. Pray also for future teachers. I think we will needs them fast because, word has already been spreading about our school and many are interested in attending, bc there is nothing like it in this area. continue to pray for my heart and leadership.

Broken foot, bus crashes, and burnt out expectations

For many in life there are things that lift us up and things that bring us down. For myself, many of life "circumstances" don't affect these pendulum swings for me all that much. It's not the circumstances but rather the maintained mentality throughout them that affects whether or not Im up or down. One may run the argument of saying that there is always a cause and effect relationship that exist between the two, therefore the circumstances must in turn effect the mentality. I would agree, but also disagree with this often sought after conclusion due to the fact that the cause on the effect is not the circumstances themselves, but rather a state of ones heart. "For out of the heart(cause) come (effects) evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander."... "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." If this is true, then it is the state of my heart that affects my mentality, which in turn affects the pendulum swing.... So to run this further one must ask the question " What is the cause that effects the hearts condition or affections? Could that then also be diverted to circumstances?... The answer is simple, but complex and we could run down the rabbit hole all day long with enlightenment ideas and philosophical conclusions. However at the end of the day, everything must come from something, and I believe that the something is God.(1 Cor 11:12) So does this means that the broken foot I acquired 3 weeks ago, (which has stopped me[with a cast you cannot swim] from rehabbing my shoulder that was torn to smithereens when I was hit by a car 8 months ago) along with another bus crash that threw me 8 feet plus in the bus, and the feelings of being burnt out already, all came from the Lord. Oh but these are just circumstances, not the affections guiding the heart. See I'm not sure if the circumstances came directly from God, but He did allow them to happen...What does this mean? What am I to do with this? Do I let this stop me? Does it affect my heart enough to affect my mentality, that in turn changes my behavior and mood? No, it is not the circumstances that are the cause here, but rather the Lord is the cause of my affections of my heart, out of which everything else, even affections back to Him flow. If this is all about affections, and our affections drive our joy in life, then why is the source of my affections causing my heart to fail, causing my affections even for Him to wane? Most would say that we are to blame and that no evil comes from God and He is not to blame... With this theological thought I agree, no evil comes from God, it is a result of our sin and our rebellion and the fall. But I still believe that the Lord is the cause behind my heart affections, and right now He is causing them to be almost non-existent. Wait you say... God cannot impose on your will, or you can't blame God for your circumstances, let alone the condition of your heart. Well Yes I can, and Im bold enough and theologically accurate as to say why... It's not the things that happen, but who allowed them to happen and why that has affected my heart to begin with. I would say that He has allowed all this to happen, according to His purposes and plans for His glory, not mine, so that He would be seen as worthy. Am I to understand it fully, by no means. For I'm sure right now that I see the stained glass window to closely to see the beautiful masterpiece that is really in front of me. Although I do not enjoy suffering, or the depressive state that it causes in the heart and mind, I trust that this is a refining moment that will forge me stronger and closer to Christ, even if I don't feel this is the case... I blame God, because it is true, He is working on my heart, and He is the cause behind it all... I "blame" or point the finger in the right direction, because I understand where its coming from and what its truly for. HIM AND HIS GLORY...not me and my happiness. I embrace this truth because God does not promise us a better life now, but a better solution to life, HIM. I embrace the suffering and tolerate the pain, I embrace the depressive nature, the long nights of mental lies and thoughts, as well as the self imposed false in-sufficientcies that I seek. I embrace them all because I know the promises of The Lord are true, even when I believe the lies. I embrace them because I know He loves me unconditionally and will finish the work He has started in me, even if that means allowing my entire body to become dismantled, and my heart to be so doubtful that it forgets, and my mind to loose itself, only to come back to the source and realize, that He works "all things" for the good of those who love and trust in Him... Even when we do not feel the love, or have the desire to love Him in return, or know He is close... He's there... He is there in the dark night of the soul when all is lost and the only thing to be gained is Him... He is there taking the "blame" because He is the creator of the affections, that will in turn, bring Him praise and glory. This song comes to mind... "His will above all else, my purpose remains, the art of lossing myself and bringing you praise, everlasting your light will shine when all else fades, never ending your glory goes beyond all fame. " . . . Lord let this be the war cry of my life, and restore to me the joy of my salvation and sustain within me a willing spirit...For I know it is not the circumstances in life that affect my heart, but only you...I do not expect one to understand this, even I do not fully at times or even as I write this, but that dosen't mean it is wrong or inaccurate. Reason itself has a limit, and once it hits that wall, it is only faith given to us by God that allows us over the wall to walk in assured hope. This is Faith even in the midst of adversity and trail. This is faith only given to us by the grace of God