Broken foot, bus crashes, and burnt out expectations

For many in life there are things that lift us up and things that bring us down. For myself, many of life "circumstances" don't affect these pendulum swings for me all that much. It's not the circumstances but rather the maintained mentality throughout them that affects whether or not Im up or down. One may run the argument of saying that there is always a cause and effect relationship that exist between the two, therefore the circumstances must in turn effect the mentality. I would agree, but also disagree with this often sought after conclusion due to the fact that the cause on the effect is not the circumstances themselves, but rather a state of ones heart. "For out of the heart(cause) come (effects) evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander."... "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." If this is true, then it is the state of my heart that affects my mentality, which in turn affects the pendulum swing.... So to run this further one must ask the question " What is the cause that effects the hearts condition or affections? Could that then also be diverted to circumstances?... The answer is simple, but complex and we could run down the rabbit hole all day long with enlightenment ideas and philosophical conclusions. However at the end of the day, everything must come from something, and I believe that the something is God.(1 Cor 11:12) So does this means that the broken foot I acquired 3 weeks ago, (which has stopped me[with a cast you cannot swim] from rehabbing my shoulder that was torn to smithereens when I was hit by a car 8 months ago) along with another bus crash that threw me 8 feet plus in the bus, and the feelings of being burnt out already, all came from the Lord. Oh but these are just circumstances, not the affections guiding the heart. See I'm not sure if the circumstances came directly from God, but He did allow them to happen...What does this mean? What am I to do with this? Do I let this stop me? Does it affect my heart enough to affect my mentality, that in turn changes my behavior and mood? No, it is not the circumstances that are the cause here, but rather the Lord is the cause of my affections of my heart, out of which everything else, even affections back to Him flow. If this is all about affections, and our affections drive our joy in life, then why is the source of my affections causing my heart to fail, causing my affections even for Him to wane? Most would say that we are to blame and that no evil comes from God and He is not to blame... With this theological thought I agree, no evil comes from God, it is a result of our sin and our rebellion and the fall. But I still believe that the Lord is the cause behind my heart affections, and right now He is causing them to be almost non-existent. Wait you say... God cannot impose on your will, or you can't blame God for your circumstances, let alone the condition of your heart. Well Yes I can, and Im bold enough and theologically accurate as to say why... It's not the things that happen, but who allowed them to happen and why that has affected my heart to begin with. I would say that He has allowed all this to happen, according to His purposes and plans for His glory, not mine, so that He would be seen as worthy. Am I to understand it fully, by no means. For I'm sure right now that I see the stained glass window to closely to see the beautiful masterpiece that is really in front of me. Although I do not enjoy suffering, or the depressive state that it causes in the heart and mind, I trust that this is a refining moment that will forge me stronger and closer to Christ, even if I don't feel this is the case... I blame God, because it is true, He is working on my heart, and He is the cause behind it all... I "blame" or point the finger in the right direction, because I understand where its coming from and what its truly for. HIM AND HIS GLORY...not me and my happiness. I embrace this truth because God does not promise us a better life now, but a better solution to life, HIM. I embrace the suffering and tolerate the pain, I embrace the depressive nature, the long nights of mental lies and thoughts, as well as the self imposed false in-sufficientcies that I seek. I embrace them all because I know the promises of The Lord are true, even when I believe the lies. I embrace them because I know He loves me unconditionally and will finish the work He has started in me, even if that means allowing my entire body to become dismantled, and my heart to be so doubtful that it forgets, and my mind to loose itself, only to come back to the source and realize, that He works "all things" for the good of those who love and trust in Him... Even when we do not feel the love, or have the desire to love Him in return, or know He is close... He's there... He is there in the dark night of the soul when all is lost and the only thing to be gained is Him... He is there taking the "blame" because He is the creator of the affections, that will in turn, bring Him praise and glory. This song comes to mind... "His will above all else, my purpose remains, the art of lossing myself and bringing you praise, everlasting your light will shine when all else fades, never ending your glory goes beyond all fame. " . . . Lord let this be the war cry of my life, and restore to me the joy of my salvation and sustain within me a willing spirit...For I know it is not the circumstances in life that affect my heart, but only you...I do not expect one to understand this, even I do not fully at times or even as I write this, but that dosen't mean it is wrong or inaccurate. Reason itself has a limit, and once it hits that wall, it is only faith given to us by God that allows us over the wall to walk in assured hope. This is Faith even in the midst of adversity and trail. This is faith only given to us by the grace of God

Moving Ahead

Many in life have experienced what moving is like. For the most part it is a hassle and often difficult. From packing boxes, lifting furniture, and getting it all tucked away nicely, just to unpack and rearrange it all again. For most, moving can encompass several aspects and emotions in life. It can be exciting, scary, or sometimes even a bit overwhelming. However at the end of the long hard day, the desire is just to be home and settled in a place of rest. For the team of The Way, the past few months as well as the next 6 months will feel this way tremendously. After much prayer, fasting, and surveying the land of MY, we now have clear discernment as to what location we will plant in, and continue making disciples. In order to get there we will have to move 2 more times. Once to a major city, and then 3 months (hopefully) up into the northern mountainous regions. All these aspects of moving hinge upon visas, and the future registration of our company. With that being said, we know that the road ahead will be hard, as well as uncomfortable. We will have to leave the beautiful comforts of Northern Thailand, and step across the point of no return. We knew these days were coming, and the anticipation has always been here. It seems that we have just settled into a life rhythm after 8 months, and now it’s time to go. We found friends, and figured things out a bit, but soon we will uproot, and redo it all over again, plus once more before we are “home”. At times this path seems impossible, and non progressive. The truth is we have made more progress than we ever could have hoped for so far. We are at least 1 year ahead of our original timelines, and at the same time have made more connections, partnerships, and a grew a solid team that we could have never done on our own. The Lord has been faithful, even when our hearts weren’t. At the end of the day, regardless if we even make it to our final destination, the goal has always been to make disciples and grow closer to the Lord in the process. Although the future road looks rough and impossible, our true desire is not to be settled and comfortable, but to just be home eternally with the Father. In light of the future glory that will be revealed to us, we strive to press forward in the race that has been set before us...

Starting Over To Just Start Again

Over the past year there have been many transitions that were expected, but many came at different times and paces than desired. I've spoken often of these transitions as really one big life transition of the process of sanctification. Its a slow crawl uphill at times or sometimes it can even feel like ONE step forward and TWO steps backwards. Right now in so many areas of life, I feel that I'm starting over, just to start again. What I mean by this is simple but not always desired. Sometimes we have to just start over on things we have historically started before at some point in the past... Currently for myself this has fleshed itself out in certain areas, for instance. 1- Having to have the same shoulder surgery that I previously had in 2005, all over again, while adding another 6 months of rehab. 2- Learning to write in a journal about what the Lord puts on my heart daily, or what He exposes in scripture again. An old discipline that has lacked to say the least. 3- Discipling young men. Thought I was moving into a season of planting a more holistic church and leading a team of both older and younger, yet Im back to the grind of getting young men to simply be obedient to the commands of Christ and act like men instead of boys. 4-Moving to a new location, and beginning to form community, after spending the past 6 years of building and being apart of a great community where everyone knows you and loves you for who you are. 5-After laboring years to build 2 major companies and then selling off most of the assets, to then move across the world (where everything is backwards and difficult to understand the simple things) and try to do something new all over again knowing it could fail or be swept away over night. 6- Relationships, going through 3 long term relationships looking and trying to discover one another, realizing your both broken, trying to love each other with Christ at the center, and then BAM! back to singleness to start all over again. 7-But the biggest and most difficult one of these occurrences is always repentance. Repentance is always the hardest thing for the heart to do. To turn from our idols, comforts, disbelief, and rebellion, and turn back to the cross looking to the perfecter and founder of our hope in Jesus alone. Repentance often comes in many forms, situations, confessions, but it mainly is accomplished when the heart gives up on trying to accomplish on its own what only grace can do, grace intervenes, and then we begin to start over where we originally started with the Lord, humbled, in need of Him, and trusting Him above all and for all. The only difference is, that after repentance, one doesn't really start over where it originally began. Although it may feel that way, we have truly progressed in our holiness and have become more like Christ. We have put off the old self, and on the new. We have turned from our sin, and trusted once again in something more satisfying and loving than our sin. We found what was never lost, just hard to see because we have been so blind. We've found Jesus all over again, to be sweet and loving comforter that He is. We have started over, just to start again.

Some Things You Cannot Control

So I consider myself a pretty safe driver. Been driving for almost 14 years in cars, jeeps, motorcycles, you name it I've probably driven it and never had any wreck or collision with another car. However last night I was hit pretty hard by a car that ran a red light (who then took off) while on my dinky 115cc motorbike. I dislocated my right shoulder (which has always been a problem, but not this bad) possible broken humorous, 11 stitches left leg, 4 in right leg. In some pain, but should be fine.
However my first thought was not "Praise the Lord I'm still alive". but rather why? Why so soon after just getting to Asia, why me, Why this same bad shoulder? I was inwardly focused... By Gods sovereign grace, the same guy I'm currently working with showed up on the scene a few minutes later. He helped out, translated, and even tired to put my shoulder back in place. It wasn't until an hour later we got it. However his prayer was different than my thoughts. "Praise you Jesus that Aaron is still alive"... It is a sober reminder that our lives are not a "right" but rather a gift form God each day. The scriptures teach us that each breath that is given to us is the Holy Spirit sustaining us and our fragile bodies as we move. I realize that there are things in this world we cannot control, but the greater hope and truth is that the Lord is in charge of it all...and by faith, we hope in something greater than finite self.
Please pray that I don't need surgery, so it doesn't set me back in the race (Hebrews 12:1-3) I've been tasked to run... Pray the security cameras picked up the guys plate (hit and run) so I don't have to pay for damages to bike. Pray that I would have understanding in this situation. Pray the Lord would be Glorified

New Beginnings

So after a busy few weeks I'm finally settled in. After the first four days of being here on a friends couch I found a decent little apartment in a good location, rented a moped, and found a decent coffee shop. For the most part things are going well. I've begun serving at Chiang Mai Christian fellowship, and I work right now down in the heart of Chiang mai, working with street kids, drop out teenage boys, and a few addicts. It’s called Khamsiri, and mainly it has been this German guy named Stefan and his wife Tina, who have literally poured out their lives over the last 8 years to this area and the people around them. Right now i think they are real burnt out, because they haven't had a lot of help, everything is breaking down physically at the facility, and the kids they have poured into over the past few years are growing up and wondering off. So far I really have no official responsibilities, but it’s looking like I will be fixing stuff for them, as well as developing out some teaching for the kids/ developing a missional community. This will allow Stefan and Tina to pour into the kids without having to try and fix everything, as well as constantly be creative with new things (which can be exhausting). One of the cool things they have set up is this aqua-hydroponics system. I've been messing with it the past few days, because it was run down and in need of some care. What it is, is a hole in the ground about four feet deep, that houses fish. Then a pump, pumps water out of the little pond and into these rock filled buckets (with plants in them). The plants filter out all the algae, acidity, and then the water drains back into the pond. They use the fish that are grown and the veggies as well to give "free of charge" to neighbors around them that need money. The neighbors can come take a fish (once grown) and go sell it in the market for about 100 baht ($3.33), thus allowing them to have a little money for stuff. Neat little project and great way to give back to their community. Well Stefan has no clue how this thing really works, or how to maintain it, because someone built it for them and then left 2 years ago. So due to my "great" experience with my swamp/pool, I was able to get the thing up and running and the PH balanced again, within about two days. Really neat thing will send some pictures soon. So ya, that’s’ a bit of what I've been doing and will be doing part time while in Thailand, as work towards planting in Burma. If you wish to contact me, send words of encouragement, your prayer request, or support the efforts, please email me at knownastheway@gmail.com. Other contact information below

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